Last night while laying in bed after watching the two episodes of Sex and the City, I couldn't help but ponder the real reason why I started this blog. Am I driven to copy something I see on TV? Are we all conformists in one way or another? Am I fueled to write because my husband wants to write a book but won't commit? I'm not sure that any answer I can come up with is a right one, but I do believe that maybe it is a mixture of 'all of the above'.
I read fantasy novels sometimes with some science fiction thrown in. I have always wanted to write a book since I was a kid, but the skills have always managed to elude me. Sure, I can write a pretty effective essay for class, but when it comes to writing a story, and a long one at that, I just fail. There isn't any way to sugar coat that at all. I fail, blatant and unadulterated failure. I can get out maybe a paragraph or two and then everything just falls apart, even if I leave it and come back to it later. Sure, I could write some non-fiction, but since I haven't left home for more than grocery shopping in a year, I could only write about my family and I. No one wants to read that! I lead this boring life with the brightness of a child's love. There are so many families that already have that, they don't need a book to make them think any different.
I think what it is, is that I want to be successful at something. Aside from being a parent. I cannot go anywhere with my graphic art because we live in the wrong area. I don't have a license so I can't go to my clients, and all of my work would have to be done from home and emailed to the client. Sometimes it really does elude my mind the original reason I started going to college. I started because I wanted to be a graphic designer. OK, I got my associates and I can be considered a graphic designer. But that wasn't enough. Any design firm isn't going to hire someone with just an associates. You now have to have a bachelor's degree. Next thing I know, when I finally graduate, I will need a masters before I can be hired through any firm. Yes, I do believe that working towards my goal is going to eat me alive. But I will never give up.
I think that I just might try again at writing a book and hopefully that will be the shove that my husband needs to write his. I want to write about dragons and magic and mythical creatures. I want to share everything I see in my mind. Of course this is also what I read. I just finished the book Eldest by Christopher Paolini. I guess this lit a fire under my butt to really give it some more thought. I just don't know how to approach it. Do I make a list of all the characters and places and things first? Do I just start writing and hope for the best? I guess it will take time to get started, but I think I might be able to get something accomplished. Publishing? I think I will worry about it later.
Well, wish me luck. I am off to try and get this started amongst a million other things.
<3
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