The track.
I had intended to continue with this blog every day and combine the weekends in with Monday.... however, that's not how it worked. It's been a bit since I have posted anything. Well, here I am with nothing to really say at the moment as it's too early for me and I can still barely keep my eyes open though I have had a cup and a 1/2 of cappuccino... I plan to return this afternoon and get everything up to date. Wish me luck. <3
Friday, July 30, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Just a Thought
Before I write my actual post for the day (Monday and Weekend included), I wanted to share a thought I had today.
When I die, I want to be cremated and painted into a picture.
That is all.
When I die, I want to be cremated and painted into a picture.
That is all.
Friday, July 9, 2010
July 9th 2010 Evening Edition
OK, so I am out taking a short walk with my 6mo old son, Lucian, this evening to go check the mail. As I'm walking I'm watching these people drive by me. I know I'm not the most gorgeous woman in the world, but one couple actually laughed in my face! I have seen people that I don't care to look at, I don't laugh at them though, maybe secretly in my mind, but never to their face. People seem to fail to understand that a simple derogatory laugh can destroy a person. Not me, but that's because I am stronger than that, but it sure does sting. I don't have the means to look like I just walked out of the department store. I don't have the means to even look like I live a decent life. No, I look like I just walked out of the trailer park. No offense to those of you who live in one, I used to as well. But you know what I'm talking about. Those that could care less what they look like to everyone else. The ones that are happy with their life to look like trash, live in trash, and not give 2 squirts of piss what anyone else thinks. I used to not care like that, but I have been rethinking my life a lot lately.
After having Lucian, I have gained a few pounds. It doesn't help that I have a very attentive and pampering husband either. I know what I need to do, but I don't know how to do it. I want to exercise, but I want it to be fun. I want to talk long walks with my husband, son, and dogs like we used to before Lucian got here, but the husband works too late, Lucian can't be in the sun, and the dogs are hard to handle with a stroller. Sounds like a shit load of excuses to me, but hey, if it can't happen, it can't... right?
I also know that I need a new wardrobe. None of my pants fit from before pregnancy. Not one pair. I have 2 pairs of jeans and NO shorts. One of those pairs of jeans are my maternity pants. I'm no longer pregnant, I shouldn't have to wear them. People are laughing at me because of how I look and there is not one god damned thing I can do about it. I want to look nice, I want to make people turn their heads and gawk at me. I want the attention, I crave it. But I can't make it happen. Why? MONEY. I don't have it. I won't have it for some time. AND IT DRIVES ME NUTS.
So, why is it that they laugh? Why is it that I care when I have a husband at home? Why is it that we all rely on money so much that we let it run our lives? Is it really a myth when they say 'money can't buy happiness'? Hm, I guess we have a lot to think about.
After having Lucian, I have gained a few pounds. It doesn't help that I have a very attentive and pampering husband either. I know what I need to do, but I don't know how to do it. I want to exercise, but I want it to be fun. I want to talk long walks with my husband, son, and dogs like we used to before Lucian got here, but the husband works too late, Lucian can't be in the sun, and the dogs are hard to handle with a stroller. Sounds like a shit load of excuses to me, but hey, if it can't happen, it can't... right?
I also know that I need a new wardrobe. None of my pants fit from before pregnancy. Not one pair. I have 2 pairs of jeans and NO shorts. One of those pairs of jeans are my maternity pants. I'm no longer pregnant, I shouldn't have to wear them. People are laughing at me because of how I look and there is not one god damned thing I can do about it. I want to look nice, I want to make people turn their heads and gawk at me. I want the attention, I crave it. But I can't make it happen. Why? MONEY. I don't have it. I won't have it for some time. AND IT DRIVES ME NUTS.
So, why is it that they laugh? Why is it that I care when I have a husband at home? Why is it that we all rely on money so much that we let it run our lives? Is it really a myth when they say 'money can't buy happiness'? Hm, I guess we have a lot to think about.
July 9th 2010
Last night while laying in bed after watching the two episodes of Sex and the City, I couldn't help but ponder the real reason why I started this blog. Am I driven to copy something I see on TV? Are we all conformists in one way or another? Am I fueled to write because my husband wants to write a book but won't commit? I'm not sure that any answer I can come up with is a right one, but I do believe that maybe it is a mixture of 'all of the above'.
I read fantasy novels sometimes with some science fiction thrown in. I have always wanted to write a book since I was a kid, but the skills have always managed to elude me. Sure, I can write a pretty effective essay for class, but when it comes to writing a story, and a long one at that, I just fail. There isn't any way to sugar coat that at all. I fail, blatant and unadulterated failure. I can get out maybe a paragraph or two and then everything just falls apart, even if I leave it and come back to it later. Sure, I could write some non-fiction, but since I haven't left home for more than grocery shopping in a year, I could only write about my family and I. No one wants to read that! I lead this boring life with the brightness of a child's love. There are so many families that already have that, they don't need a book to make them think any different.
I think what it is, is that I want to be successful at something. Aside from being a parent. I cannot go anywhere with my graphic art because we live in the wrong area. I don't have a license so I can't go to my clients, and all of my work would have to be done from home and emailed to the client. Sometimes it really does elude my mind the original reason I started going to college. I started because I wanted to be a graphic designer. OK, I got my associates and I can be considered a graphic designer. But that wasn't enough. Any design firm isn't going to hire someone with just an associates. You now have to have a bachelor's degree. Next thing I know, when I finally graduate, I will need a masters before I can be hired through any firm. Yes, I do believe that working towards my goal is going to eat me alive. But I will never give up.
I think that I just might try again at writing a book and hopefully that will be the shove that my husband needs to write his. I want to write about dragons and magic and mythical creatures. I want to share everything I see in my mind. Of course this is also what I read. I just finished the book Eldest by Christopher Paolini. I guess this lit a fire under my butt to really give it some more thought. I just don't know how to approach it. Do I make a list of all the characters and places and things first? Do I just start writing and hope for the best? I guess it will take time to get started, but I think I might be able to get something accomplished. Publishing? I think I will worry about it later.
Well, wish me luck. I am off to try and get this started amongst a million other things.
<3
I read fantasy novels sometimes with some science fiction thrown in. I have always wanted to write a book since I was a kid, but the skills have always managed to elude me. Sure, I can write a pretty effective essay for class, but when it comes to writing a story, and a long one at that, I just fail. There isn't any way to sugar coat that at all. I fail, blatant and unadulterated failure. I can get out maybe a paragraph or two and then everything just falls apart, even if I leave it and come back to it later. Sure, I could write some non-fiction, but since I haven't left home for more than grocery shopping in a year, I could only write about my family and I. No one wants to read that! I lead this boring life with the brightness of a child's love. There are so many families that already have that, they don't need a book to make them think any different.
I think what it is, is that I want to be successful at something. Aside from being a parent. I cannot go anywhere with my graphic art because we live in the wrong area. I don't have a license so I can't go to my clients, and all of my work would have to be done from home and emailed to the client. Sometimes it really does elude my mind the original reason I started going to college. I started because I wanted to be a graphic designer. OK, I got my associates and I can be considered a graphic designer. But that wasn't enough. Any design firm isn't going to hire someone with just an associates. You now have to have a bachelor's degree. Next thing I know, when I finally graduate, I will need a masters before I can be hired through any firm. Yes, I do believe that working towards my goal is going to eat me alive. But I will never give up.
I think that I just might try again at writing a book and hopefully that will be the shove that my husband needs to write his. I want to write about dragons and magic and mythical creatures. I want to share everything I see in my mind. Of course this is also what I read. I just finished the book Eldest by Christopher Paolini. I guess this lit a fire under my butt to really give it some more thought. I just don't know how to approach it. Do I make a list of all the characters and places and things first? Do I just start writing and hope for the best? I guess it will take time to get started, but I think I might be able to get something accomplished. Publishing? I think I will worry about it later.
Well, wish me luck. I am off to try and get this started amongst a million other things.
<3
Intro
I'm Diane. I am a 30 year old stay at home mother. I have another blog, The Happenings of Home Life, but I ended up talking more about myself than home life. So, here I am to write about me... and expect the unexpected, assume everything and nothing at the same time, be prepared to laugh, cry, and think I'm nuts as I shall hold nothing back for I am like a donkey on the edge...
'thanks again Richelle'
'thanks again Richelle'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)